Deviant, Defiant, Non-Compliant

Just a heads up, this post is only nominally about cosmetics, so if you're here for shiny polishes you might disappointed.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed I've put out a huge glut of new designs for my Etsy over the last week, but there are two that  I wanted to talk about, because they really mean quite a lot to me. They're the distillation of a lot of thoughts I've been having about feminism, and generally the experience of being a woman, These designs were specifically inspired by a dear friend who despite being much younger than me, inspires me every day.

Deviant!

This is the first design I want to talk about - a fairly simple one, just a cute little banner that says "Deviant" over my signature indie polish background. (If you're interested, the polish is a discontinued one from Darling Diva called Erotic City) But the meanings I think you can take from this simple word are rather complex.

Women's behavior, and in particular women's sexuality, has always been a minefield of do's and don't. So many unspoken, invisible walls around every action, and stepping over these lines, even if we didn't know they were there until we'd crossed them, defines us as "deviant".

George Romney - Lady Hamilton as Medea

This idea that women's sexual pleasure is something bad or wrong can be traced back all the way to the Greeks, where "good" noble Greek women were expected to be matronly and chaste. Kept cloistered until they were married as young virgins, they were expected to produce heirs but the idea of women actually enjoying the process was unheard of. Women in mythology who succumbed to passion were deemed "evil" (See Medea, among many other examples), and women in society who were caught committing adultery were entirely excommunicated from Greek society, unable to even attend sacrifices. At the same time male sexuality, while nominally expected to be enjoyed in moderation, was allowed rather more leeway for expression.

The Victorian Era was famously repressive of sexuality, but again rather more so of female sexuality than male. The only orgasm a Victorian woman could expect was at the hands of a doctor should she be diagnosed with "hysteria" - a practice which, on the upside, brought us the basis for the modern vibrator.

Even now, after the Sexual Revolution of the 60's, female sexuality is still widely expected to come second to male sexuality. Women's magazines are full of tips to enjoy sex more, but the number of tips devoted to his pleasure rather than hers underlines the idea that women's enjoyment should never come at the cost of male enjoyment. Women are now largely taught that being sexual is okay - thank goodness - but there still remains the idea that there is such a thing as being TOO sexual. Have sex, but not too much. Explore the dating landscape, but don't sleep with too many people. Get kinky every now and then, but only in a way that straight men find hot.

Graphic by Definatalie

But it's not just our sexuality that gets women labelled as "deviant" - if I've learned anything from the Fat Acceptance movement it's how horrifying some people find the idea of women simply being larger than is "acceptable". Don't even get me started on the endless struggle that is trying to enact the simple idea of "No Diet Talk" in the average office. Now THERE'S a deviant concept.
Speaking of talking, even though women talk almost the exact same amount as men in everyday settings, we're still labelled chatterboxes, gossips, and nags. Hell, even a woman daring to be taller than the average man can get some people clutching their pearls in horror that a dainty, delicate woman could dare to take up so much space.

All these unspoken, invisible walls, trying to hem women into a tiny little box of "acceptable." Acceptably sized, acceptably quiet, acceptably sexual, and acceptably small. Well balls to that.

Defiant!

And that's where this second design comes in. (For the polish nerds, the background I used for this is Exhilaration from Powder Perfect) As much as I would like to encourage every woman to trample the invisible maze that surrounds us with reckless abandon, I can't. There are consequences still to being deviant. In the awesome comic Bitch Planet, women deemed "non compliant" are disappeared to a prison planet for the rest of their lives - while we're not quite there yet, the fact that there are consequences for non-compliance is undeniable. In an example from my own life, politely asking my co-workers not to comment on what I was or was not having for lunch led to complaints to management about my "attitude". Bigger actions can lead to bigger consequences.

I really can't recommend Bitch Planet enough. Make sure to view this full size to see the wonderful fake ads!

But it's not hopeless! There are things you can do, things you can say, every day to try and push at those walls that surround us. It can be as simple as ignoring that socially implanted voice in your head that tells you to shush at parties, because you don't want to be seen as the loud, deviant woman.
Try not to be ashamed of your sexuality - there's no such thing as too sexual, and so long as all parties are consenting adults no kink is too weird. There are great groups out there like Twisted Sisters in Sydney who are more than happy to help you find your way!

There are things you can do that don't even require talking to other people! Read awesome female created comics like Bitch Planet, and  Lumberjanes, and Gotham Academy;go see awesome female directed movies like A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. Buy from indie jewelers doing cool subversive things like Fancy Lady Industries! Support female creators doing cool stuff with your money, and help them to say the things you feel you can't say!

So how about you, dear readers? Are you deviant and/or defiant? What are things you do to show your defiance, big or small?

Makeup Geek foiled eyeshadows - review and swatches

Man, I am SO excited to tell you guys all about these products. If you've been looking at my indie powder eyeshadow swatches and thinking, "I love those, but I don't have the time/skill to be messing around with loose eyeshadow" I have good news!

Makeup Geek have released a series of foiled, pressed eyeshadows that have colour payoff like the loose indies, but are even easier to use than mainstream pressed shadows. No, really!

A good friend was kind enough to score me five of these beautiful shadows for my birthday, as well as the world's sparkliest Z-palette to keep them in. From left to right, we have Mesmerised (a rose gold that leans burnished copper), Caitlin Rose (an irridescent purple), Showtime (rusty brown with a copper shine to it), Houdini (a black based green/blue duochrome) and Centre Stage (actually comes out slightly more navy than it appears here)

Being the skeptical person I am, I was pretty damn skeptical of Makeup Geek's claim that "just one swipe" would pick up enough product to do your whole eye, but as you can see from the swatches below, it's actually true. The swatches below are "just one swipe" with my finger straight onto my arm - no primer required.

Caitin Rose and Centre Stage are a tiny bit paler when swatched than I had hoped, but the others are just staggering with how pigmented they are.

The most mind blowing thing for me about this product though is how easily it applies with your fingers. I have all the brushes and the froofarah for my loose shadows, but sometimes I'm in a hurry or feeling lazy and I just want to smoosh on something. Nothing hard, that needs lots of blending or careful placement, just makeup for when I couldn't be bothered with makeup. Below is my new, everyday, "I couldn't be bothered but want to look nice" look.

It's just Mesmerised, patted all over the lid and smooshed out at the edges. That's it. (Well, and mascara) No brushes, no fiddling - because the shadows are so creamy, you can just blend it out with your fingertip. I could literally do it with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back! SO, SO GOOD.

If you want to get a bit fancier, these shadows also work really well with loose shadows like I usually show here. Because they're quite creamy (but somehow not sticky at all), they really grab the loose shadow. You only have to press the tiniest amount over the top, and you can get some really fun effects.

This is Centre Stage patted all over the lid and up the brow bone, with a tiny bit of Hello Waffle's Whale Hello There patted on the inner half. Add a bit of eyeliner, and you're looking fancy without the fuss!

As for the wear time, let me just say that I wore Mesmerised the other day for a full day of classes, then a nap, then went out, and there was not a crease to be seen. NOT ONE. No fading or patchiness either - it just stayed exactly where I put it, apparently forever.

The only downside of these shadows is that they come separately in little pans, not already in a palette. If you're an indie aficionado, you probably already have a palette floating around to hold your goodies, but if not Makeup Geek sell magnetic palettes to hold the pans on their site. Alternatively, they're packaged in a relatively sturdy cardboard sleeve that will hold them safely if you're careful.

You can get the full range of foiled eyeshadows direct from the Makeup Geek site!

Celestial Cosmetics Callisto - Review and Ramblings

I am such a sucker for burgundy at the best of times, but when I saw Celestial Cosmetics had put out a deep rich berry burgundy with their trademark holo fire, I knew I had to have it. And I was not disappointed!

Just look at this beautiful thing! These swatches were just two easy coats as well, giving this polish real bang for your buck.

Even inside the lightbox, the ridiculously strong holo fire still burns bright.

In keeping with Celestial Cosmetics astronomical theme, this polish is named for the fourth moon of Jupiter, which was in turn named for the mythological nymph Callisto, - guess which one I wanna talk about today?

Callisto was a follower of Artemis, and as such had declared she would forever stay a virgin. The followers of Artemis, and indeed Artemis herself weren't too hot on men in general, so pledging to stay away from them was a way for Callisto to show her devotion to her goddess.

No Boys Club

However, Zeus is in this story, so if you've ever read a Greek myth you'll know where this is going - that's right, Zeus rocked up and raped Callisto because she said she'd never be with a man.

Afterwards Zeus's wife Hera found out (as she always did) and lost her shit (as she always did). Unfortunately, she never seemed to lose her shit at Zeus, who I feel really deserved at least a serious talking to. Instead, she directed her wrath at poor Callisto. What happened next is quite different in different versions of the story. Some early versions have Hera bullying Artemis into just straight up killing Callisto, but later versions have Callisto being turned into a bear either before or after giving birth the Zeus's love child.  Some version have Callisto being turned into a bear after giving birth,  then roaming around the woods doing bear stuff until her son comes back to the woods all grown up and nearly kills her. In all versions, Callisto gets the rough end of a very shitty stick.

Sadly, NONE of these storylines were used when the TV show Xena decided to introduce a character named Callisto. It's not like turning a character into a bear would have made the show any more bizarre and silly than it already was. Seriously, according to the Wiki, over the course of the show Callisto "died twice at the hands of Xena and was sent to Tartarus, Hell and Heaven. She has been a mortal, an immortal, due to the golden apples, as well as a Deity, due to Ambrosia. After final death, she was sent to Hell and became a Demon and later an Arch Demon. She was then sent to Heaven by Xena and became an Angel, before reincarnating into Eve, Xena's daughter, who would later become the bringer of Twilight and peace." But no bears. RIPPED OFF. 

Celestial Cosmetics is currently out of stock of Callisto, but you can still pick it up from Femme Fatale Cosmetics, and Edgy Polish.

P.S If you have a minute, I'd love to hear what you think of my little Etsy endeavor via a short survey I'm currently running. It doesn't matter if you've bought from me or not, I want to hear from everyone!

Words Caught In My Throat

If you're a long time reader of this blog, you might have noticed it's changed quite a lot over the last year or so. I've taken a lot of my more intellectual blogging elsewhere, and saved this space for all the shinies, with the idea that this would make me less self concious about writing things that might upset people. Sadly, it didn't really work. I find myself hardly writing at all anymore.

Instead, I've been crafting for my Etsy. This project has taken up a lot of my time partially because I'm attempting to really get it going, and as anyone who has started a small business can tell you that takes all your time and then some. But it's also partially because I find it so much more relaxing than writing. I make things that I think are pretty, and people either buy them or they don't. It's all very...straightforward. Whereas speaking online has become something I've learned to fear rather than enjoy.

It's not any one thing that's given me this deep seated trepidation about opening my mouth in a public forum.

Part of it's years of watching amazing women, women that are undoubtedly smarter, wittier, and tougher than I am being driven into social media breaks or offline entirely that has made me wary. There are some topics I know will rustle some jimmies, and I can be prepared for that when I step into the conversation. I know that if I bring up feminism in all but the most general way, someone won't like what I have to say and won't hesitate to tell me. That's cool, I can predict and prepare for that. But sometimes I step into a conversation, thinking I know how serious it's going to get, and I am so, so wrong.

For example, a friend has recently been driven offline because she made a downloadable mod for the game Dragon Age that changed the romance options for one of the characters, meaning you could have a gay romance with them. People called her a rapist - a RAPIST - for making a game mod. An OPTIONAL game mod, that you would have to specifically download, or that you're free to entirely ignore. I wouldn't be shocked if some of you thought I was making this up, because it's so absolutely outrageous. Who gets that upset over an optional mod? Who decides to devote hours and hours to abusing someone for making something they thought would be fun?

I see this sort of thing happening all the time, and natually, it makes me afraid. I'm not even surprised anymore when I see prominent women taking a break from social media - I'm honestly more surprised by the ones who manage to get by without having to burn it all down periodically. But it's not just the fear of external hostility that's kept me so quiet lately, it's also the fear of irrelevancy.

When I started this blog, I was one of a small group attempting to blend feminism, intellectual discourse, and pretty things. The more I look around at the blogosphere, the more I see people joining this little group. For some people it's just a little mention of feminism here and there - for others it's addressing questions of intersectionality as they apply to cosmetics advertising. As someone who started writing this way because I wanted to read more of it, I'm thrilled. But I also wonder what more I have to add to the conversation. I wonder if I've said all there is to say about how anything coded as femme is considered less, and how much that bothers me. I wonder if the world really needs my hot take on...well, anything. I wonder if I have anything to add to the ongoing discussion between white and black feminism, and whether I would ever have anything worth adding to such a huge, complex, and important conversation. I wonder if it's worth speaking at all, or if I should just stick to my trinkets. 

My weird little corner of the blog world has gotten so much bigger, and it's hard to convince myself that I have anything to say that hasn't already been said by someone wittier, better educated, and more influential than I am. When this concern is already whispering discouragement in my ear, watching yet another woman be driven out of the online space for speaking, for doing, for just being, my fear becomes paralysing. Why would I take the risk of being attacked for wrestling out words that no one else will read anyway?

I know that I'm rusty, and my words are clumsy. I have to kind of choke them out, like when you've got something stuck in your throat. My hands freeze, my mind wanders, and it's just easier to go do something safe, practical, something quantifiable. I can hold my jewellery in my hand, and say to myself, "I did that." I can judge whether it's how I imagined it would be or not. Words are so much harder. Even at the best of times, as a writer you never really know what people have taken away from your words. I fret that my point doesn't even come across, let alone my worries that people might or might not like what I've said. When my fear gets the best of me, and I forget any self confidence I had, writing can feel like I'm spilling nonsense into a giant void, that occasionally spews a wave of monsters - and who in their right mind would want to do that?

As my psych will testify, I'm not in my right mind though. I'll keep choking the words out when I can, spilling them before I can take it back, and hoping someone will see value in them.

Grace-full Polish - Summer Nights Collection

Apologies for my absence, dear readers! I suffered some catastrophic nail breaks right after I started swatching this collection, and have been frankly far too self conscious about my nubby stubs to show them anywhere. But at last my nails are back in a condition where they're fit to be seen, if not quite at their former glory, so I have a TON of fresh swatches for you!

Grace-full are yet another newcomer to the Australian indie polish scene, but they have swept in on a wave of glitter, colour, and fun! Summer Nights is a collection inspired by the founders friends, and it's a doozy for anyone who loves glittery, gooey colour.

The formula on all of these was great, especially considering how new Grace-full is as a brand. Pretty much every polish only needed two coats for full coverage, and while a couple could probably benefit from an colour underneath, none of them really NEED it. The micro glitter polishes are especially dense - glitter fiends should definitely pick these up at the very least.

First up we have Erin, a luscious navy blue jelly filled with big holo dots, and a delightful assortment of various sized hexagonal glitters. Excitingly, this is a deep blue that doesn't stain(!!), so feel free to skip the undercoat with this one to take full advantage of the squishy jelly base.

Next up is Katie, a rich burgundy microglitter. While the base is quite dark, it's so choc full of holographic glitter it ends up looking a little bit lighter overall due to the ambient refraction.

This was two thin coats, and while you could put a burgundy under it if you're really fussy about crisp edges, it covers nicely alone.

This delightful flakie packed blue is Mandy, and I think it's possibly my favourite out of the whole collection. I know, I know, usually I'm all about the eye burning amounts of glitter, but there's a dense complexity to this one I really like.

One note on Mandy - I did need three coats of this, because the base is a teeny bit transparent. You could either do three thin coats to capture the full effect of the flakies, or one coat over a base colour if you're short of time.

This one is Nicki, and is a perfect example of the eyeball burning microglitter I'm normally all about. And don't get me wrong, I still really like this polish. The colour reminds me a lot of Powder Perfect's Delight, but with a slightly larger size of glitter so the holo effect really jumps right out.

 This next polish is Ali, and it's the only one out of the whole collection I was a little disappointed with. The colour scheme is a bit like confetti, which I'm sure would appeal to some people, but I thought it looked a little disjointed.

As you can see from the swatches, the base is also a little too transparent to wear alone. I used two coats here, and could have gone for three, but I don't think it would have really addressed the problem. Having said that, over a deep fuschia base colour this would look pretty rocking.

Speaking of fuschia, check Billie out! This is possibly the pinkest polish I've ever had on my nails, and I'm a little shocked by how much I didn't hate it.

Unfortunately they didn't really pop in my photos, but there is a rich vein of blue micro flakies through this polish, that give it a delightful complexity in person.

And finally, we have Eboni, a stunningly sparkly purple jelly filled with stars, hexes, squares, and holo microglitter as well.

 

If you're in a hurry, there's more than enough glitter in this to use is as one coat over an inky purple base coat. I used two coats for these swatches, so you can see the awesomely glittery effect of all the spangles floating in the jelly base.

One final note on this collection - it's actually on sale until Monday at the Grace-full Polish Etsy store! Just use the discount code SUMMER25 for 25% off - but only for the weekend, so get moving!

Graceful Griffons - Powder Perfect review

Second in my ongoing series about the Powder Perfect Mysterium Magnum series is this burgundy beauty, Griffon.

This polish features a deep, metallic burgundy base that reminds me a bit of OCC Black Dahlia metallic lip tar. The base is filled with a generous dose of holographic dust, as well some beautiful green flakies that are sadly a bit camera shy.

Two easy coats are all you need of this for total coverage, and I had no issues with the glitter leaving a gritty texture, as sometimes happens. You'd think the green would perhaps clash with the burgundy, but these unlikely elements actually come together really nicely.

The inspiration for this polish, the Griffon, is also a combination of unlikely elements. There have been depiction of griffons (or griffins, or gryphons) in art as far back as 3000BC, but they're most prominent in Ancient Greek mythology. Because they're used by so many different groups across history, there are lots of different visual interpretations, but generally a griffin is made up of a lion's hindquarters, an eagle's talons, wings, and head, and sometimes a horse or a lion's ears.

Check this dude out! Regal as all get out.

Herodotus describes a group of griffins that guarded vast hoards of gold, that apparently the Scythians would raid regularly. You should remember when thinking about this that Herodotus is also considered a serious primary source for a lot of Greek and Roman history - but I guess you take what you can get when there are so few sources around.

"Minneteppich KGM" by Anonymous - Own work User:FA2010 2009. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

As well as being very popular subjects in medieval art like the tapestry above, griffons were also a huge deal in the art of medieval heraldry. I'm sure you've all seen a coat of arms before, but you might not know every aspect of a coat of arms created under the classical European rules of heraldry has a very specific, official terminology, placement, and meaning.

Diagram from EnchantedCastles.net

The choice of what "supporter" (the figure that held up the shield in your coat of arms) was an important part of medieval family marketing - very often people wanted something that symbolised strength, bravery, skill in battle, all that good stuff. Because a griffon is part eagle and part lion, it was thought to symbolise boldness and courage, and the eagle head denoted intelligence and military acumen.

This is a heraldic griffin passant
(passant means walking toward dexter (the viewer's left), with the right forepaw
raised and all others on the ground. I told you heraldry was srs bsns.)

This beautiful polish is available from Powder Perfect now, and more pretty pictures of griffons, griffins, and gryphons are available all over the internet. 

Frightening Faeries - Powder Perfect Review

Just before Christmas, Powder Perfect released a collection of indie polish just about tailor made to appeal to me - glittery, heavy on the purple, and all inspired by folktales!

Mysterium Magnum  is a gorgeous collection, even if you don't care about the folktales that inspired it. There's something here for just about everyone, from muted flakies to balls out glitterbombs.

From left to right we have - Lycanthrope, Melusina, Griffon, Leviathan, Faerie, and Lorelei.

I couldn't possibly pass up such a perfect opportunity to ramble about folklore as well as show you pretty things, so I'll be doing a separate post for just about all these polishes. Today I'm going to get the ball rolling with the spectacular Faerie.

Faerie is a real glitterfest, right on the edge of pink and purple. It leans a bit more purple under artificial light, but under natural light it shines almost alarmingly pink.

There's a veritable cornucopia of glitter in this one - pinks and purples and silvers, with a smattering of holo glitter just to take it right over the top. You won't need anything under this to get full coverage in two coats, but you will want to use a nice gooey topcoat to smooth it out.

When you think of faeries, you probably get an image in your head of kind, sweet, flitting creatures in metres of organza.

But personally, I've never really liked those kinds of faeries. They're too...well, nice. If you know where to look, there are just as many stories in folklore where faeries are cruel, spiteful, and sometimes downright dangerous. What I love about this polish is that it's glittery and pink, but almost aggressively so. It's SO FUCKING shiny, and SO PINK, that it's got a bit of ferocity to it, which is the kind of faerie I like best.

These are the kind of faeries that drive the story of Tamlane, an English fairytale I recently read in Fearless Girls, a collection edited by Kathleen Ragan.

If you're looking for a collection of women-centred folktales, I highly recommend this. Just skip the woo-woo heavy commentary at the end of each story, it's a bit painful.

The story starts out pretty simple – Tamlane is a fearless knight, promised to a beautiful maid named Janet. According to the story, they were deeply in love, which seems kind of unlikely given that romantic love in a marital setting is actually quite a modern concept, but hey, that's how the story goes. But one day, Tamlane rides out to hunt and doesn't come back. BUMMER. After some time, Janet is out in a field doing some sort of maidenly duties probably tending the field) and Tamlane rocks up, all decked out in fancy armour and riding a fantastic white horse. Janet asks where the fuck he's been, which seems pretty reasonable. Tamlane says he was kidnapped by the Queen of the Fae, to be her most beloved escort – although he's also pretty sure she's planning on sacrificing him to the Devil, because he's so handsome. Suuuuuuure, you might say. Queen of the Fae, riiiiight. But Janet believes him, and asks what she can do to help him come home, because she's a way more trusting and kind person than I am.

Tamlane tells her that it so happens the Fae Court will be travelling through the forest that night, and if she sneaks up on them she might be able to literally snatch him away from the faeries. He tells her once she snatches him, she'll have to hold him tight no matter what spells the faeries try, then throw him in a lake to cast off the spells. Why he can't just run away and jump in a lake on his own is never addressed – instead Janet agrees to meet him that night, and help him escape.

Later that night, Janet hides in the woods and watches the whole eldritch court march past her. Turns out Tamlane was right and the Queen was absolutely going to sacrifice him, so she'd gotten everyone out to witness her deliciously handsome tithe. When Janet sees her beloved Tamlane go past, she leaps out of the woods and knocks him to the ground. As Tamlane had predicted, the faeries get pretty fucking pissed that she's just snatched their prize sacrifice, and start throwing spells to turn him into something Janet couldn't hold on to. First they turned him into a chunk of ice, then a searing pillar of flame, then a snake, then a dove and a swan. I'm not really clear how the dove and the swan were supposed to be hard to hold on to, but I guess the faeries were just trying anything they thought of. Finally they turned Tamlane into a white hot sword, at which point Janet decided it was time to throw this sucker in the lake already. He emerged, manly as ever, and the faeries were thwarted. When the faerie Queen rode away though, she tossed off this charming verse by way of goodbye;

“Had I but known Tamlane, Tamlane,

a lady would borrow thee,

I'd ha ta'en out they two grey eyes,

and put in two eyes of tree”

How delightfully gory is that image? “I wish I'd cut your eyes out and shoved bits of wood in there instead.” AWESOME. The Queen of the Fey is so badass. 

Okay, so this is technically supposed to be Wrath, but it also fits pretty perfectly how I imagine the Queen of the Fae looking after Janet snatched Tamerlane back. This is by the enormously talented Dahlig over at Deviantart.

It wasn't just the Queen of the Fae that was badass though - on the Isle of Man there are stories of the Leanhaum-Shee, a breed of literally maneating vampire faeries*. They would apparently attempt to seduce young men wandering in the woods alone, and if they failed they'd straight up tear you to pieces. If they succeeded, they'd suck your blood while boning your brains out, and store your stolen blood in a big cauldron.

The Leanhaum-Shee would use the stolen blood to keep themselves young and beautiful, but also feed a little bit of it back to their victims every now and then to inspire the young men to write them love poetry. Of course, eventually the young man in question would run out of both blood and satisfactory poetry, at which point he'd wither and die and the Leanhaum-Shee would go find another toy.

While this story (and many, MANY others) are a pretty obvious misogynistic metaphor for how women allegedly suck the life out of you, from a modern viewpoint the life of a Leanhaum-Shee doesn't sound so bad. Seducing young men and discarding them when they no longer amuse you? Isn't that the overarching storyline of Sex in the City?

Those are my two favourite gory, scary, bad faerie stories - do you know any? Do you prefer the kind, fluttery kind of faerie?

*I got my information on the Leanhaum-Shee from Encyclopedia of Fairies, by Theresa Bane. You can see the Ebook here on Google Books.